I Wish I Were...
If things were different, they wouldn’t be the same…
My father used to say that all the time. I totally hated it!
Of course I wish things were different. Pretty much I wish that every day! Doesn’t everyone?
But I don’t think I want to wish away all the things I don’t like. Some of the choices I regret have turned me into the person I'm learning to love now!
It would also mean that some of the things I enjoy and appreciate wouldn’t be the same – in fact, they might just cease to exist for me. And, although I won’t remember (because those things would not have happened), I might wish things were different then, too.
Who can say what paradoxes I will create in my imagination trying to make things ideal?
“The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” Patrick Star, SpongeBob Squarepants
If things were different, would I still love SpongeBob Squarepants? Would he still be my hero?
Or, would I be voting Republican in the November election instead?
If things were different, my two wonderful daughters would be different. Maybe they would still be perfect, but they would be different. I would be different, too… Would I still know how wonderful they are?
Heck, would I even have two daughters?
I wish I were richer. Then I would be able to take my daughters to Disneyland.
I wish I were taller. I don’t know why, I just think it would be more fun for me that way ;)
I wish I were sexier. Then I would have more self-confidence.
I wish I never found out that my father drowns squirrels in a barrel in the garage every summer and then buries them all over the yard! In 2011 he killed 42. The last I heard this year, he was up to 39! What are they doing?! Keeping score?! Well, umm, you're winning, you can stop already! FYI - squirrels mate for f***ing life, A**-holes!!!!!
I wish my mother had never told me that she wished I was more like my little brother and that she has always liked him better.
But those wishes are mostly things that I cannot change (if I keep wishing for it, maybe they will! Haha!) and will always be completely beyond my control.
“If wishes were horses, we’d all be eating steak” – Jayne Cobb, Firefly
I wish I had made different choices for my future a long, long time ago. But none of that matters now. I'm learning to love the person that I have become, the things I have been forced to learn about myself and all of the world around me.
If I had made different choices, I would be different too.
And I don’t know what it would be like if all the things I wished for came true. All I know is that -- things would definitely not be the same. I guess my father was right.
So, I guess the short version is:
I wish I was exactly the same as I am right now!