Entitlement, Shame and Vulnerability
I'm always thinking I'm feeling too entitled.
I think my boyfriend should treat me different, buy me stuff, pay more attention to me, go places with me... I think my parents should have done those things too 😋 I think I should have a better job (or a job at all). And, for goodness sakes, I think my cars should freaking work all the time. Lol!
And I whine about that stuff, too. Now, we all know that I can't control my boyfriend or my parents and what they do for me - or my cars - but I can control myself and, what I need to do is retrain myself into believing that I DO deserve all sorts of wonderful things!
I pretty much deserve whatever I think I deserve, right? I mean, isn't entitlement what gets people success in this world? You see, if I *seriously* don't believe that I am entitled to and that I do truly deserve all that I want, I cannot actually achieve my goals and dreams. So, for me, entitlement boils down to vulnerability and shame. In order to get what you truly want and truly deserve, you need to believe that you truly do deserve what you want - just like Brene Brown says in this video:
And in order to get what you are entitled to, you need to be vulnerable. In other words, you need to overcome your shame.
Shame is vulnerability and vulnerability is courage...
As an adult one of my favorite sayings has become - it's none of my business what others think of me. Admittedly though, it still hurts when I feel that someone doesn't like me, but it's a little easier when I remind myself it doesn't matter what they think. Everyone has things to be ashamed of.
Remember, when you tell your story, the only people who don't feel shame are those not capable of empathy and understanding. Remind yourself you're learning how to let your guard down even though it's scary and rejection hurts. From the time I was a very young child, I was taught that work was not a place to be vulnerable. Always walk proud and show you're strong.
This has always been very difficult for me because I am an emotional person and I am ALSO a strong person, but my sensitivity added to my shame (in more ways than one).
In fact, I was taught that vulnerability was just plain bad, period. But at work it was just. Plain. Evil. It's shameful. That's why network marketing is so difficult for me. It's a vicious circle. I don't want to share my stories because I'm ashamed of them. But, I need to share them to be vulnerable and show people that I'm real. In that realness, people will be attracted to me and my energy, *then* be interested in why... Because without all of that I'm not entitled to anything at all.